Watch for Comeback Kid-Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Sunday, September 7, 2008

AP PhotoDetroit

 

Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick standing with his wife, Carlita, addresses the media in Detroit on Thursday.

Let there be no doubt: Kwame Kilpatrick intends to return.

On a day when his childhood dreams of being mayor ended with guilty pleas and his resignation, Kilpatrick let everyone know that, at age 38, he wholeheartedly expects to be a leader again.

“I want to tell you, Detroit, that you done set me up for a comeback,” Kilpatrick said Thursday in the last, near-defiant words of a brief goodbye speech to the city.

Kilpatrick took to the airwaves for about 20 minutes. In a speech that was vintage Kilpatrick, he acknowledged mistakes but brimmed with bravado. Surrounded by his wife, Carlita, mother, U.S. Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, and other relatives, the outgoing mayor was greeted with whoops, “amens” and applause as he reeled off his accomplishments.

Prescription:

Kilpatrick is banned from seeking office during his five-year probation, but if he wants to lead again, he will likely have to follow a well-worn path to redemption. It will include an honest appraisal of his sins and public penance.  Then he has to disappear.

Until the reality show deal.

Why Tomato should sue Chilli Pepper Friday, September 5, 2008

             

Since the government announced it was investigating whether tomatoes caused the outbreak that began in April, the nation’s tomato industry estimates it has lost more than $100 million. Health investigators have not able to find tomatoes that contained the salmonella strain that sickened more than 1,330 people– which led to chile peppers being pulled from menus and grocery shelves. The outbreak is one of the largest salmonella outbreaks ever in the U.S., and the largest foodborne outbreak in the last 10 years that is based on confirmed cases.

Prescription: Class Action Salad!

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/health/bal-te.salmonella04jul04,0,1339689.story

Why Britney HOPES She Loses Those Kids Tuesday, October 2, 2007

 An Associated Press story said that Britney Spears lost custody of her children because she failed to produce a California driver’s license and allegedly missed a drug and alcohol test, her lawyer said in a magazine report.

“We weren’t able to prove compliance with what the judge ordered,” attorney Sorrell Trope told People magazine.

“Specifically,” he said, “the judge ordered that by 10 a.m. (Monday) morning, both parties show valid California driving licenses. I’ve been unable to produce evidence of that.”

Prescription: Whoopi Goldberg said on the view this morning that Britney has been “Britney Spears” for so long that she doesn’t know how to take care of herself or her kids because she has been taking care of others, including KFED for a long time. So long that she has come to realize that she may not be cut out for motherhood.

There is another part to that. Besides all her “staged” encounters with the paparazzi ( which usually in the past worked to her advantage) Brit-Brit is at her wits ends on how to get back to being “Britney Spears” again. Think about it. Nothing has been working. Not the half naked photo shoots, driving with her kids in her lap or even opening the MTV awards. Losing her kids, will in fact be the best thing for her career. Why? Because the rehab (Paris), jail (Nicole), Baby (Nicole), out of control actress (Lindsey) thing as already been done.

Her career is dangling by the last strand of her bad weave and losing her kids could provide the most original comeback story to date.

You heard it here first.

Singers’ Beef with Essence Is Really About Being Black Monday, September 24, 2007

       

                                                                    KeKe Wyatt /photo credit:EURweb

Keke Wyatt is not happy with Essence.com following her Q&A that appeared last month to promote her new album, “Ghetto Rose.”The 25-year-old Indianapolis native vents her frustration with the article, and claims she was “badly misquoted” when the discussion turned toward her biracial background. Many readers were also offended by Wyatt’s reference to black people as “they” and reference to her straight locks as “pretty hair.” Actual quotes from the article reads as follows:

No, I’m not all Black, but I definitely stand up for the Black people. They’ve had it rough, they can’t help the fact that they’re skin is dark, or that their nose is a lil’ wider or that the curls in their hair might be tighter.I don’t think that it’s fair for people who look like me—the light skin, pointy nose and pretty hair—to think that dark-complected people are any less than them.

My best friends are Black—I mean, Black-Black…

Prescription: Now folks may not remember that Keke stabbed her husband back in 2002. Though it may be a coincidence, at the time sales of Wyatt’s debut album, Soul Sista, increased after the singer’s arrest.

The drama with Essence is perfectly timed to the release of her new album “Ghetto Rose”.   And while a rose is still a rose, church attendance and drama alone does not sell records. A little ignorance might get you a number one single. Wyatt explains to EUR’s Lee Bailey how she was misquoted in the response, as well as in other passages throughout the essence.com article.

Listen to her response here: http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur37014.cfm

De La Hoya Makes Stripper famous Over NAUGHTY Photos Monday, September 24, 2007

 

The woman who says she took photos of boxer Oscar De La Hoya in women’s lingerie is changing her story.

Just days after she claimed the pictures were “not Photoshopped,”  Milana Dravnel now says, “I cannot personally verify the authenticity of the images.”

The gorgeous 22-year-old Russian immigrant would also not rule out that De La Hoya attended tequila-fueled revels where, according to sources, the Golden Boy dressed up in fishnets, stilettos, panties and a wig. Sources have also said he took part in role-playing — sometimes using the name “Goldie” and pretending to be a squealing girl riding on the back of a motorcycle. During one so-called “slumber party,” a source told us, Dravnel and other girls shaved his legs.

“Mr. De La Hoya and I had a platonic relationship,” the former Scores dancer said.

Last week, Dravnel taped an interview for “Entertainment Tonight,” due to air this evening, in which she denies that the mortifying pictures had been altered. “I only agreed to do a television interview … after I received numerous threats from people who were in control of the images,” she said. “Many quotes that were attributed to me in the media are false and inaccurate, as were some statements I made on ‘Entertainment Tonight.’

Prescription: A stripper walks into a publicist office and ask’s ” How Can I Be Famous?”

‘This is a case of, If At First You Lie, You Must Then Deny’. It’s the only real way anyone gets their own reality show these days, it’s common knowledge.

Read the scoop here:

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/r_m/2007/09/24/2007-09-24_model_changes_tune_on_oscar_de_la_hoya_d.html

Kayne West Makes a Dollar Out of 50 Cent Sunday, September 23, 2007

 

 The two rappers spent much of the summer jousting about who would win the first-week-sales battle.

While Mr. West generally avoided triumphant predictions, 50 Cent wasn’t shy about reminding listeners that he was the odds-on favorite.

Now the numbers are in, and it’s not even close. According to Nielsen SoundScan “Graduation” sold 957,000 copies in its first week, while “Curtis” sold only 691,000 copies. It’s the best opening of Mr. West’s career. And it’s the worst opening of 50 Cent’s career.

This is a great day for Universal, the record company that distributes both albums- although you might feel sorry for the Universal executives who have to field 50 Cent’s angry phone calls.

Prescription:  In every “Win-Win” situation there is always a loser somewhere. Yes, there were tons of TV appearances and radio interviews- KUDOS to the PR department at Universal–Whoop Whoop! But, the real PR strategy here was not to let two ego maniac rappers direct their public relations campaign. It was to let two ego maniac rappers THINK they were directing their own PR campaign. The result: a PR stunt many say will go down in history, Universal sells a $hit load of records, Kanye West seems a little friendlier and 50 Cent feels a little short changed.

My boy Kelefah @ the NY Times sums it up nicely here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/20/arts/music/20feud.html?_r=1&ref=music&oref=slogin

The Official O.J Simpson Press Conference Friday, September 21, 2007

   

This one doesn’t even need a post so I’m going straight to the prescription: Every publicist needs a guy like this next to their spokesperson!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_UTmgrKNW0

O.J. in Illegal “Cell” Thursday, September 20, 2007

           

Don’t take a picture of O.J. Simpson with your cell phone if you work in a courtroom!

TMZ has obtained a letter written to the Juice, sent in care of his lawyers, apologizing for the actions of one of its “contract employees.” In the letter, dated today, the Executive Office of the Clark County Courts says a court reporter took a cell phone picture of Simpson as he left his court hearing yesterday.

The executive called the behavior “abhorrent” and told Simpson and his attorneys it “would not be tolerated.”

The letter also says that the issue has been “addressed” with the employee, and the picture has been deleted from the cell phone.

The unemployment line forms to the left.

Prescription: Whomever took this photo should have pictured himself making a lot of money and not getting caught.

Read the letter here: http://www.aolcdn.com/tmz_documents/0920_simpson_apology.pdf

Senator sues GOD, takes Almighty to Court Thursday, September 20, 2007

  

AP Photo

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he’s trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused “fearsome floods … horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes.”

He’s seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.

Prescription:  Doesn’t the fan in the in the background look like a halo? Now if he could get the Father, Son and Holy Spirit to testify this might be the most highly covered case the media has seen yet.

Read the story here:

http://www.11alive.com/news/politics_govt/article_politics.aspx?storyid=103258

Why I want to be Osama Bin Laden’s Publicist..an editorial Thursday, September 20, 2007

         

Just before the sixth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, Osama bin Laden released a new videotape, in which he adopts a neo-Marxist posture, suggesting that mortgage debt, global warming, growing wage inequality and other ills are a result of greed from multinational corporations and politics of the West.

Osama released a new message today calling for attacks.

The hype surrounding the release of Osama’s new tape got me to thinking– if Osama was a rap star, or a big movie actor like Tom Cruise, I would probably be the richest publicist on the planet. So rich I could buy up all the world’s oil and sell it in cute little bottles at the 99cent store.

He seems like he would be a typical client… always wanting the world to hear what he’s got to say. And, he would always be coming up with some new idea or theory for me to publicize.  Just like most celebrity clients, he would be somewhat hard to get on the phone.

It wouldn’t matter if people liked me or not because I would be holding the key to the voice of the most notorious person on the planet. Imagine it.  This guy releases a new tape almost every year and if it was available on iTunes, it would make a killing (not literally). He changes the color of his beard and people pay attention. Osama is, in fact, the new Britney Spears.

And just like Britney, at some point people will no longer pay attention to what he has to say and who knows, one day an Osama tape just might flop. But none of that will happen until Osama walks the red carpet in a hideous outfit. But then, that would be new, news right?