I love My Publicist

The Prescription for Spin

Why I want to be Osama Bin Laden’s Publicist..an editorial Thursday, September 20, 2007

Filed under: News — ilovemypublicist @ 12:36 pm


Just before the sixth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, Osama bin Laden released a new videotape, in which he adopts a neo-Marxist posture, suggesting that mortgage debt, global warming, growing wage inequality and other ills are a result of greed from multinational corporations and politics of the West.

Osama released a new message today calling for attacks.

The hype surrounding the release of Osama’s new tape got me to thinking– if Osama was a rap star, or a big movie actor like Tom Cruise, I would probably be the richest publicist on the planet. So rich I could buy up all the world’s oil and sell it in cute little bottles at the 99cent store.

He seems like he would be a typical client… always wanting the world to hear what he’s got to say. And, he would always be coming up with some new idea or theory for me to publicize.  Just like most celebrity clients, he would be somewhat hard to get on the phone.

It wouldn’t matter if people liked me or not because I would be holding the key to the voice of the most notorious person on the planet. Imagine it.  This guy releases a new tape almost every year and if it was available on iTunes, it would make a killing (not literally). He changes the color of his beard and people pay attention. Osama is, in fact, the new Britney Spears.

And just like Britney, at some point people will no longer pay attention to what he has to say and who knows, one day an Osama tape just might flop. But none of that will happen until Osama walks the red carpet in a hideous outfit. But then, that would be new, news right?


4 Responses to “Why I want to be Osama Bin Laden’s Publicist..an editorial”

  1. give it a try . either you will be taken care of by osama . or the US army .
    keep going .
    good !

  2. ilovemypublicist Says:

    Ha! you got a point there. How much do you think I should charge him to be his publicist?

  3. nyprdiva Says:

    I have to say you had me rolling with this. Every point you make is valid. Kudos to you.

  4. ilovemypublicist Says:

    Thanks Diva!

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